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Operation Purple Dawn: The great pubbie rebellion of 2013

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SuperCereal #1 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:31

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Operation Purple Dawn, as was dubbed by King Alphyn in a mildly amusing photoshop picture, is a general rebellion against the tyrannical rule of the Despotic Nicolas Cage Empire. The Burning Legion has long held an "us versus them" mentality in all things clan wars related. This stance has seemed to serve them well in the past when they only had three clan wars capable lesion affiliates, but the "give us what we want or we will map you with our many alt accounts protectorates" rhetoric came to a head when the Pupeh special forces spotted a squirrel in the back yard of a porch in Crimea. This lead to outspoken criticism against Lesion diplomacy in a series of hilarious videos produced by the Pupeh clan's CO. This initial squirrel fiasco lead the PBKAC clan to disavow Pupeh actions and initiate a formal break with them. Meanwhile, HAVOK, BAD, HAVOK Rising, and VOLT (all Legion clans) had taken over an estimated 60,000 gold worth of real estate in the New World. Later on, HAVOK and it's substituents decided to push into ENJOY, KBEARS, and their former allies ELVIS for reasons that are not too clear. Many believe that this move was precipitated by a mixture of both boredom and greed on the part of the Nick Cage Fan Clans. Many bums became sore and much tears were initially farmed. However, while the tide of public opinion had resoundingly turned against the Burning Lesion, not much was physically being done about it.  

Then RELIC enters the war.

While RELIC had and still maintain that they are not really formally on the side of the Purple Dawn Rebellion, their declaration of war against the HAVOK family emboldened others to more openly denounce HAVOK. Then with their strong initial success in pushing HAVzeroK's and BAD's faces in, came a cascade of outright pent up hatred directed towards the Burning Legion from all over the map. Even long time friends like FORGE and -G- had choice words to say about HAVOK leadership. As of 3-31-2013, OTTER, FORAY, and PBKAC has formally declared war on the Burning Butthole.

Burning Legion Belligerents:
  • HAVOK: The source and seat of all Nick Cage Unicum power. This clan is considered one of the top three clans on the server and wielded 20K+ gold when the war started. HAVOK, along with BAD and HAVOK Rising, were the initial clans to thrust into Purple Dawn Alliance held territory.
  • BAD: The clan run by the Burning Legion's de facto second in command, ClammyLion. He is sure to read this thread and tell us all how much he's not mad about it.
  • HAVOK Rising: I will not say anything bad about this clan because I am sure that its CO knows my secret identity. I don't want him to spout out that I am, infact, Al Gore.... DAMNIT!!!
  • VOLT: Seemingly more kewl-er than the rest of the Legion clans (only because of Granny), this clan has held the western front of the Burning Legion in the North America map. It has been stated that VOLT has fought for most every territory they have but many still find it funny that the Legion considers them more worthy of over 12K gold than PUPEH, a clan that has readily slapped Granny around alittle (only because she liked it.) In a not-so-surprising turn of event, VOLT has come to the conclusion that it "Just isnt that fun when some guy with a Callme tag infront of his name has got a fist rammed up your collective a-holes and is working you like a puppet" while denigrating you with words like "YALL TAINT DOIN CHIP MOVEMENTS RAIGHT"
  • NOVAK: A Legion clan that is currently outside the main theatre of operations in North America, this clan still has to deal with the PUPEH onslaught from the Ukraine.
  • UF: Some clan I cant be bothered to care about.... apparently they're considered better than the PUPEH's in Legion circles.
  • SIMP: After giving in to abject paranoia and mental retardation, SIMP has thrown what has come to be known as "the offset heard round the world" in an effort to help out long time gay lovers TBL. What is particularly  hilarious about this is that they decided to do it once HAVOK main was down to three territories and all the main Purple Dawn belligerents were comfortably situated in the US. Many in the Purple Dawn camp belive that SIMP was on the side of HAVOK all along and migrated their forces from a relatively safe area in New England right up into CallmeSarge's buttcrack.
  • Jaguars: Havok buffer clan that totally took the 1300 worth of MAD GOALDZ offered by the Legion.
  • SAS: In true sneaky fashion, there seems to be some flip-flopping here. Either way, RELIC has beef with this clan and needs the LZ they occupy anyways for their attacks against the BL. I have just received word from a certain SAS affiliate that the SAS, better known as Sneaky's 200 man shrine the the BEST CELL PHONE SALESMAN EVER, was "never on Havok's side and had been attacking the Legion from the very beginning." To be fair, after SAS went straight for VPG, they threw stacks on ELVIS as a cover stack and I've received reports from Legion affiliates that SAS is hated by Nick Cage Fans as much as any "normal" tanker. Having said that, as of 4-16-2013, SAS have formally announced that they are working with the Legion. What's more interesting is that the Burning Legion is willing to work with SAS.
Purple Dawn Belligerents: This is comprised of a group of clans with no real alliances with one another but a common purple enemy.
  • PUPEH: They were fighting the LEGion way before it was Kewl. Like I said before, they saw a squirrel in Crimea.... chased it down...shit happened....
  • KBEARS: Attacked by the Legion and fighting to keep their homes.
  • RELIC: Conquerors of the lands of always cactus(Texas), this clan has put a dent in HAVOK's armor that has not yet been seen in the Purple Dawn War. The official reason as to why RELIC decided to join the war against the Legion is because they owed a sexy blood debt to their long time friends SG.... That, and they have reportedly refused Clammylion's offer of 1300 worth of mad goaldz.Not knowing what to do with all this MAD LOOTZ, Lozarus has reportedly issued a decree that any RELIC main member who can successfully cause mass defections from IOC to fill out the recent gap in RELIC 3rd's roster will receive an IS6. Lozarus, the leader of RELIC, has stated the following, and I quote, "LOL I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE F**K IN DOING IN THESE NEW MAPS. GET ME MOAR BATCHATS RGR RGR."
  • OTTER: Since Furry relations have since soured between the Burning Legion and the PBKAC/OTTER/PUPEH species-hood, OTTER has thrown in their lot with the Purple Rebellion. They shall drive their mighty TOTALLY NOT FASCIST box tanks into the heart of the midwest and break the Legion like a clam on their tummies.
  • PBKAC: Katuminst doctrine dictates expansionism.
  • FORAY: A minor clan that was being used as a buffer zone between HAVOK and the landing zones to the west, this clan either became aware of the strings that were attached to it or became opportunistic once it bordered both RELIC and OTTER it now pushes into VOLT/BAD GOLD STARRRRRR
  • WAR: They were trying to get at the Legion from the east coast but were stopped by SIMP. They gave up Philly to ENJOY and went to Montana to open up a northern front for the Purple People Eaters. They've been out of the fight for quite awhile now and are no linger relevant to this war.
  • ENJOY: I have received information that this clan is, in fact, fighting the Legion by way of attacking SIMP. However, not many clans in the PD camp would agree with this assessment. I GOT BRONCHITIS
  • RDDT: They're in the same boat as ENJOY with regards to the fact that they are attacking SIMP and will not risk a direct assault on HAVOK. AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
  • RELIC 2nd and 3rd: Daddy called and needs some help with all these sock puppeters.
  • Wallet Warriors: finally pushed into VOLT after getting a hold of themselves in Nevada.RIP those guys....They decided to resurrect themselves just in time to make it relevent to that new World War Z movie that's comming out...
  • -G-: This clan has decided to pull off the EU maps and head to america. After taking AL THE LZs, the Guerrillas have pushed into Legion affiliated lands and have opened up a northern front to spread out Legion forces and ease tensions on the southern flank. Apparently they need to shake some rust off because J are SRS BSNS
  • FORGE: This clan has decided to help with the Purple Dawn offensive because Big Daddy G dun threw stacks up north to fight Havok and FORGE, being proper babymommas, left Europe to help Big Daddy get himself a gud job up in Detroit... Why does this sound like a Tyler Perry movie?.... They're also somewhat cross with TBL because FORGE gets their feelings hurt and some Nick Cage Fan said something bad about Baroom once... I know that feel, bro...
  • ANVIL: Literally the only clan currently making any headway in breaking through HAVOK main's last defenses.... Showing up their parent clan so hard that it made Baroom ragequit and join IOC in an ENDO inspired attempt to polish turds. (LOOK IT UP. IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND THAT IS WHAT IS GOING ON BECAUSE I AM A RESPECTED JOURNALIST)
3rd Party Wildcards:
  • NUKED: I have been told that the Legion still considers this clan to be hostile yet they hate RELIC and company so much that they have decided to "safe crack" Purple Dawn LZs in an attempt to show everyone what big penises they have. Just about as relevant as they've ever been...
  • ELVIS: Elvis were originally friendly to the Legion but were drawn into the conflict by covering for their onetime ally KBEARS. They one-chipped KBEARS in order to offset against HAVOK and were subsequently told that they would be mapped for interfering. After committing forum sudoku by calling on SAS to help repel the Nick Cage Legion, they were mapped and left for the lands of MANY SAND. Apparently butthurt fermented when RELIC initiated side-operation F*ck SAS and ELVIS's misguided E-HonoUre led to them to chipping into RELIC main and REL2 like a bunch of petulant children. They are currently for neither side and will most likely never visit the hallowed halls of Graceland again. Back to the lands of MANY SAND
  • PURPL: This clan has announced that they are leaving England because "all dem bitches got bad tooth decay an sheet." No one knows where they will land in NA and who, if anyone, they will side with because The Prince is just that damn mysterious/sexy. UPDATE: They sprayed the south with chips like Ron Jeremy sprays his lady friends with goo juice whenever a camera is rolling...

Weekly Timeline:

  • 3-31-2013 to 4-6-2013: Relic declares war on the Legion and pushes hard into Texas, ending up with 15K+ gold after less than a week of fighting both Havok Rising and BAD. ELVIS and the Kare Bears continue to hold out against HAVOK main and the rest of the Legion on the southeast coast. OTTER, PBKAC, and FORAY declare war soon after and push out from the Arizona region. Foray's attack on the Legion came as a surprise and they have since had one of the most successful death blossoming chipspams in recorded history. OTTER is initally repulsed by VOLT. WAR begins it's push into the BL from the northern Dakota region while NUKED trades blows with -J-, widely regarded as a Legion bufferclan. SIMP and ENJOY/RDDT continue to stalemate against each other.
  • 4-7-2013 to 4-14-2013: The Burning Legion initiate a massive counterattack against RELIC and push them back to their landing zone in a single day. OTTER/FORAY/PBKAC/RELIC return the favor the next day and push everything they have into VOLT, gaining much territories. ELVIS is mapped. SAS declares that they are on the side of the Purple Dawn and land in Alabama to reinforce their long time allies ELVIS. After taking VPG off the map, they slow their roll and have yet to attack the Burning Legion directly. Many think that they have pulled their support from the Purple Dawn camp and are currently trying to sue the BL for peace. RELIC has decided to map their sub clans and throw them against SAS because F**K Sneaky. RELIC loses their LZ to some clan that I cant be bothered to remember. HAVOK main have pushed hard into NUKED. FORAY are finally off the map after deathblossoming for 2 weeks like they wrote the book on it. RELIC 3rd FINALLY take the landing zone in mongomery alabama off of SAS. RELIC/PETCO/WAR continue their eastward expansion, leaving the BL a shadow of its former self.
  • 4-15-2013 to 4-22-2013: REL3 continue into SAS and their ability to initially sh*tstomp Sneaky's Fan Clan leads to alligations of sock puppeting by SAS's depcom. REL3 decide not to trap SAS in Miami. Nuked get mapped by Legion affiliates and decide to crack REL3's LZ, pissing off half of clan wars. The Legion begin to make progress pushing back the furry incursion. UF and NOVAC are mapped in Europe and then subsequently land in various Purple Dawn held LZs. However, PUPEH chases after them like they had a milkbone stuffed up their asses... The Guerillas make landfall in Montgomery Alabama on 4-18-2013. Many southern African Muuricans are relieved to be under the rule of a superior and benevolent species. G hold LZs in the south for awhile and then push their main forces from the north of the map. RELIC clans get pushed back to one territory AGAIN and then push out the next day to kill many chips with their batchats-o-doom.
  • 4-23-2013 to 4-30-2013: KBEARS and company chip into RDDT and ENJOY because they are indian givers and totally want their land back... Those beads just weren't worth 2 territories, bro... This little side war has effectively taken KBEARS out of the war. Kbears are mapped some days later. I cant be bothered to know exactly when that happened. Forge make landfall in the north by way of a rioting LZ. Anvil arrive some days later in another rioting LZ and have taken Pecos Texas in an effort to keep RELIC's hot sexy ass free of filthy back poking scrublords.
  • 5-1-2013 to present: REL3 and SG take the Jim Jones People's Temple clan SAS down to one territory and many lulz were had at their expense. Then the next day SAS is not mapped... many sad faces and mashing of teeth...etc...PURPL land all over the south and decide to try and map SG because they are all old New Yorkers and are seeking a good retirement home in Florida. SIMP responds to it's own self delusional paranoia and implements the "offset heard round the world"

Please either PM me or post in the thread with info regarding belligerent and reasons for war. Thank you.
Edits are in blue to provide a quick read

BREAKING NEWS: PBKAC ISSUES WAR RESTITUTIONS

View PostMr_Peabody, on May 03 2013 - 03:08, said:

RESTATEMENT OF WAR AIMS
The summary execution of the war criminal _Endo_ by our enemies has lead us to believe that SNeaKY and the Legion, hereafter referred to as the Forces of Evil™, will soon sue for peace. Although this first step is surely pleasing to the eyes of the great ChairinaBasket, sitting upon his heavenly throne, it is not sufficient for us to withdraw the forces of righteousness from the field of battle. As senior Fake Diplomat™ for PBKAC, and de facto senior Fake Diplomat™ for all clans opposed to the Forces of Evil™, I will take this opportunity to enumerate all steps that must be taken by our foes if we are to call this conflict to an end.
1. All members of the Forces of Evil™ must acknowledge that there is no heavenly father other than ChairinaBasket and that BringStabity is his prophet -- peace be upon him, in his chair, in his basket.
2. All Forces of Evil™ clans must hereafter include "defeated by Babby Stug battle callers" in their clan descriptions.
3. CallmeLion must change his name to ImSorryAlphyn.
4. After changing his name, ImSorryAlphyn must make his own finger puppet video stating just how sorry he is for being a bully and how he really understands how hurtful this sort of behavior can be to affirmation-seeking, internet tank driving, dogs.
5. The letter "M" must be stricken from the alphabet.
6. The Forces of Evil™ must task one of their sub clans, in perpetuity, to ensuring that their erstwhile ally S-A-S remains off the map.
Always include one demand that you don't expect to be met, so that you can negotiate terms... needing a Legion subclan to keep S-A-S off the map is obviously a joke...

MORE BREAKING NEWS: VOLT SECEDES FROM THE UNION

View PostOuTRaGeouS9, on May 05 2013 - 05:00, said:

We, at VOLT, have had our leader pushed out and forced to resign. He never did anything wrong except the fact that he stood up for VOLT as a clan, and was tired of getting told what to do. The whole purpose of what the Legion is suppose to be is to work together as one. The truth is it's one person acting as 6 clans. When trying to come up with a resolution of the problem I was told:
"That's not how the Legion was created to be, I was the one to be in charge. If you don't like it why are you still here?"
He made a good point, why was I still there. Why be in a clan and have no say in what we could do.
So Sarge, I tell you this... GO F*** YOURSELF!

PS... VOLT isn't going anywhere

EVEN MORE BREAKING NEWS:ZEPPELIN WARDECS SIMP

View PostZeppelinisgod, on May 05 2013 - 06:53, said:

You're a brainwashed paranoid idiot if you think that everyone was out to get you before you pulled the "offset heard round the world".... But now, you're probably right so carry on...
Also....

View PostZeppelinisgod, on May 05 2013 - 07:17, said:

How dare you insinuate that RELIC Aux, being the retirement home for all senile and horribly inept RELIC members, is not up to snuff even though they are apparently above NOVAC in your little roster! This infuriates me and I am thus mad now. As the completely fake and utterly powerless Diplomatic Liaison for all things RELICy, I hereby present you with this neatly wrapped imaginary present.... Open it up.... It's a wardec... enjoy... ​Quality of WARDEC is completely fictitious until Loz says others\wise.
If you guys were so paranoid about being lumped in with the Nick Cage Fan Clan, then why the hell would you move from a relatively remote area in the Lands of Yankees and Chowda to right next to the guys you were so afraid of being lumped in with?... so ignorant...

YET EVEN MORE BREAKING NEWS THAT IS  CURRENTLY BREAKING(5-6-2013): FORGE SH*TS THE BED!
Apparently the super hardcore FULCRUM tourny teams who had previously made FORGE its home has decided to spread its wings and rip itself out of bloating carcass of said clan. No words on how well FORGE will bounce back from this but one thing is obvious... ANVIL are the new undisputed masters of the FGC COMMUNITY OF ANVIL AND  FORGE RELATED CLANS WHO ARE FAMILIES..... An unspecified spokesperson for ANVIL released this statement:

Edited by SuperCereal, May 07 2013 - 07:20.


Guest_B0B_Ross_* #2 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:34

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Johngalt for worst war dec of the year nomination

Oxmathus #3 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:38

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Not exactly sure I would consider Enjoy part of the Purple Dawn anymore, considering how little they have done to even attempt to be helpful.

Just saying.   :bajan:

SuperCereal #4 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:39

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is RDDT a part of it? Or ACES?

Guest_B0B_Ross_* #5 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:39

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Also the real deal breaker is when and where ioc will throw their chips in.

Oxmathus #6 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:41

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View PostSuperCereal, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:39, said:

is RDDT a part of it? Or ACES?

RDDT is on the same boat as Enjoy, and ACES is tied to SIMP.

SuperCereal #7 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:42

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View PostB0B_Ross, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:39, said:

Also the real deal breaker is when and where ioc will throw their chips in.

Obviously a wild card.... I hear they dont have land so they're pretty flexible

_xXx_bro_o7o7_xXx_ #8 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:42

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View PostB0B_Ross, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:34, said:

Johngalt for worst war dec of the year nomination
wait we wardec'd them?

didn't even notice

Chzy #9 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:47

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Enjoy got included on that photoshop spoof with teh wolverines and all, but they hasn't done anything afaik. Seems like they are neutral.

If I'm not mistaken we offset havok attacking kbears before(or when) relic even landed, so I think some credit isnt being given here. When elvis and kbears first started fighting the legion no one was stepping up.

Could be wrong though, you tell me boss.

Guest_B0B_Ross_* #10 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:48

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Hai

SuperCereal #11 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:51

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View PostChzy, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:47, said:

Enjoy got included on that photoshop spoof with teh wolverines and all, but they hasn't done anything afaik.

If I'm not mistaken we offset havok attacking kbears before(or when) relic even landed, so I think some credit isnt being given here.
I understand ELVIS being in the war before RELIC but RELIC seem to be the ones who really got the ball rolling.... By all means. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Oxmathus #12 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:51

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View PostB0B_Ross, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:48, said:

Hai

-_-

Staph there was no reason to edit that.

I can do it too

KingAlphyn #13 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:51

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Posted Image

Posted Image

Edited by KingAlphyn, Apr 01 2013 - 07:52.


Palehorse1 #14 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:52

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View PostSuperCereal, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:31, said:

...Then RELIC enters the war...

We are at war? All I remember was Loz promising to buy the first round here and like guppies we all got on the bus.

Posted Image

Otter_von_Bismarck #15 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:54

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It's Enjoy and RDDT vs SIMP and ACES, HAVOK is watching with a grin on their face as a bunch of clans (minus ACES) who all think HAVOK is their friend beat each other to death. KBEAR and ELVIS have realized what the aforementioned group do not, which is that HAVOK is just using them, as they always have, and view pretty much anyone around them as something to be used and discarded.

ArtyDoesntTakeSkill #16 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:54

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All my +1s given. Sad that i can't find john's wardec, but our furry reich's thread is pretty baws too.

Looking forward to more SuperCereal Reports in the future.

KingAlphyn #17 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 07:59

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Let's get this party started!

Chzy #18 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 08:00

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View PostSuperCereal, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:51, said:

I understand ELVIS being in the war before RELIC but RELIC seem to be the ones who really got the ball rolling.... By all means. Correct me if I'm wrong.

When they (along with some other clans) began their assault the entire picture changed in a day. When RELIC landed, it seemed like TBL knew they had some serious gudfights coming from all over the place, the purple dawn had come to fruition.

The green fields are being stained with blood and metal as we speak...

Oxmathus #19 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 08:04

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View PostKingAlphyn, on Apr 01 2013 - 07:59, said:



Posted Image

Let's get this party started!

Posted Image


That one looks better if I do say so myself.

KingAlphyn #20 Posted Apr 01 2013 - 08:06

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We have to support them so that they come out of the Neutrality Closet.





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