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Klaatu_Nicto #1 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 19:24

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A public-school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

 

At a morning press conference the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

 

Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

 

When asked to comment on the arrest the President said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

 

Spoiler


Nudnick #2 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 19:31

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If they try to take my abacus it'll be from my cold, dead fingers.

Dockmaster #3 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 19:51

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Another +1 to the alien robot.

The_IS7_Specialist #4 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:00

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Bravo! +1

HowitzerBlitzer #5 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:01

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More reasons to not live in the "greatest country in the world."

Klaatu_Nicto #6 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:04

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This is supposed to be a humor and music topic. Let's keep politics out of it. Thank you.

Devildog8 #7 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:08

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Very nice +1

NiteDog #8 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:11

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Spoiler


SwollenOstrich #9 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:12

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I, for one, welcome our new calculating, geometrical overlords.

Nunya_000 #10 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:14

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So.....if one Al-Gebra terrorist boards a train in Chicago and heads South at 50 mph, while another Al-Gebra terrorist boards a train in New Orleans at the same time and heads North at 40 mph, at which point will their trains pass each other?

4TheBox #11 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:17

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They are called WMD (Weapons of Math Destruction) and very dangerous. Big corporation like Facebook, Google, Apple, Amazon are using it every moment.

Klaatu_Nicto #12 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:17

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View PostNunya_000, on Nov 08 2018 - 11:14, said:

So.....if one Al-Gebra terrorist boards a train in Chicago and heads South at 50 mph, while another Al-Gebra terrorist boards a train in New Orleans at the same time and heads North at 40 mph, at which point will their trains pass each other?

 

I'm taking the 5th Amendment on that.

iAmEbola #13 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:19

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Dude, this totally cracked me up.  +1 M8.  Awesome wit and a good laugh.  Thank you!  :)

NutrientibusMeaGallus #14 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:20

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Klaatu_Nicto #15 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:22

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View PostiAmEbola, on Nov 08 2018 - 11:19, said:

Dude, this totally cracked me up.  +1 M8.  Awesome wit and a good laugh.  Thank you!  :)

 

Thanks but I can't take credit for it. A friend emailed it to me

iAmEbola #16 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:33

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View PostKlaatu_Nicto, on Nov 08 2018 - 13:22, said:

Thanks but I can't take credit for it. A friend emailed it to me

 

Ah, but you brought it to us.  That, good sir, deserves gratitude.

 

So shut up and be thanked!  :P



cloudwalkr #17 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 20:49

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This is one of the single best posts I've ever read on this forum.  Absolutely brilliant.

carl20320 #18 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 21:12

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I'd tell you a good chemistry joke but all the good ones argon.  :rimshot:

El_Monstro_De_Galleta #19 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 21:15

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View PostDevil__Anse, on Nov 08 2018 - 13:27, said:

with this administration this is totally believeable

 

Doesn’t take much to fool these guys does it 

Devil__Anse #20 Posted Nov 08 2018 - 22:01

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View PostBolted_On, on Nov 08 2018 - 14:14, said:

 

STILL haven't gotten over the fact that hitlery lost ??   Sorry snowflake, deal with it.

 

:teethhappy:




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